Dear Family and Friends:

Something serious for once,

My wrist watch was stolen a few days ago. It's one of those fancy new models that stores information, and I had most of your phone numbers in it. It was sort of a portable/compact contact list.

Warning: If any of you receive calls telling you that I'm wounded, captured, or dead, these calls are FALSE. Even someone claiming to be part of the Department of Defense, no matter how credible their information, is lieing to you. The process by which family members are notified of a service member's adverse status does not include phone calls.

That being said, I'm very sorry if any of you receive 'prank' phone calls as a result of my failure to retain the watch.

love,

:D