Memoirs written in prose of Sergeant Robertson, Damon M. USMC while in Iraq | ...with frequent appearances of King Hammurabi.
If you are new to this journal, make sure to start reading in chronological order by scrolling down to the bottom of the oldest post in October 2004. Damon's letters from August 20th, 2004 - October 23rd, 2004 were all added to this blog on Oct. 23rd, 2004. All subsequent letters are posted in real time.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Re: Hammurabi, USMC - DMR
Dear Family and Friends: If Al Asad should perish, and please I don't mean "really," just in that student of history sort of way, like Pompeii or Atlantis future archeologists would no doubt make a dramatic discovery somewhere on the old grounds of the airbase: an entire warehouse full of undelivered mail. Literally hundreds of tons of mail (I offload some 30+ tons a day: I AM Fed ex!) and so little of it reaches its recipients in a timely manner. Just yesterday I took a pallet off a plane and through the plastic wrap I could see Christmas paper. Either sent late or sorted late coming from Kuwait. I know if the dudes here had anything to do with it (how have I described them before... the pasty-eyed, drooling postal Marines, was it?) the mail would never get there. I've got a couple friends that sent Christmas packages that I've given up to the ether. Never getting here. It's wierd, too, that packets of letters aren't here yet, that all sorts of things have gotten lost. It's almost like they have a pile of christmas stuff that they sort, "when they have time," independent of mail sent before Nov 15 and after Dec 25. so back to our future archeological dig. scientists uncover the factory, learn all sorts of things about us, assuming from the amount of candy and chocolates they find in the mail that we are creatures adapted to eating only carbs and fat. The profuse amount of cleaning aids (toothpaste, shaving cream, soap, etc.) leads them to believe (this time more correctly) that we are filthy slobs and that staying clean over here requires immense diligence. someone writes a book, they make their tenureship, and the Intergallactic College of Pyramid Founders is edified. ... story boring ... Supposedly there's a chamber burried beneath the Sphinx's left paw. I mean the Sphinx of Egypt fame, the one near the Great Pyramids at Giza. It is reported, via legend or other such hoax-sensitive media, to contain the entire written history of mankind since creation. Lofty claim. As far as I know, no one's dug that deep or bothered to get the permits (or more likely all intended diggers have run aground with aging professors who wrote books that would be debunked if said library were found... and said professors are now sitting on budgetary commitees...). I theorize that no one will find the written history of mankind. I believe that the lost chamber is full of undelivered mail. Lots and lots of mail, all stamped with "To Atlantis, with Love in this Time of Terrestrial Upheaval." When this is proven I will write a heart-felt account of the plight of glossy-eyed, drooling mail sorters who lived under the cruel rulership of the Pharoahs. I will be a celebrated lunatic (tenured professor). [joke, Disco, joke joke joke] ... Perhaps some of you are wondering why I don't write more about Iraq. You get more Iraq on the news, you say, than from your Marine friend who's there. Remember, I'm a P.O.G. (person other than grunt) and never get to leave the base. I work 7 days, 14 hours or so each, and offload other 'real' Marine's bags and mail. Emails like this, ridiculous in extreme, are a reflection of my intense desire to find some light or humor in my drudgery. That and I've been reading some very compelling "conspiracy theory" type books about the work of ancient men, specifically the pyramids. Fun stuff. Believe me, when i finally get to shoot bad people in a tactical situation, you'll hear about that, too. You're fanship will not be thwarted.... :] until next insanity build-up, :D
# posted by chevas @ 4:01 AM 