Memoirs written in prose of Sergeant Robertson, Damon M. USMC while in Iraq | ...with frequent appearances of King Hammurabi.
If you are new to this journal, make sure to start reading in chronological order by scrolling down to the bottom of the oldest post in October 2004. Damon's letters from August 20th, 2004 - October 23rd, 2004 were all added to this blog on Oct. 23rd, 2004. All subsequent letters are posted in real time.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Hammurabi, USMC - DMR
Dear F&F: (i'm getting or have gotten lazy with my greeting) ... My Very First International Incident by D.M.Robertson I think it's odd how terrorists use our media against us. Send in a tape of anything at it will get played by the airwave jockies. Bin Laden might as well have his own talk show or Rap CD label. I mean, goldarn, his niece is a pop singer or at least last I heard aspiring-to-be-pop singer in the pan-Arab world. I don't know how well she'd do in the US with a name like "Wafa Bin Laden" on her CD's. It'd be sorta like seeing an instructional ice skating dvd set narrated by Adolf Hitler. Just not the best family name to be touting to the western world these days... Off subject, and sorta on it again: there's a lot of stink over here about supposed "holy sites" that us infidel Marines aren't allowed to set foot in or around. Supposedly, non-muslims aren't allowed in or near a Mosque. Problems arise, you can surely understand, given the presence of a Mosque on base. The commanding General has issued orders that no Marines/service members/civilian contractors/anyone white is not allowed near the structure. It is no longer in use, by the way, and the gates are chained and locked shut. [Indicentally, there's a spring on the grounds that spews up this *really* blue water that smells tantilizingly like sulfur. Probably has copper in it, too, given the clearness of the water... copper sulfite, a likely culprit, is neat. Clear water, pretty baby blue, UTTERLY POISONOUS... oh well. But most impactfully to our daily lives, given the proximity of our barracks to the Mosque, is the smell. Farts. Living, breathing, sleeping, it doesn't matter. The whiff of fresh gas from Allah's hiney is ever present. Some of us call the area "Allah's butt-crack." Allah is all powerful, his curse of flatulence eternal... We make endlessly insensitive jokes on our way to and from work, which requires us to drive past the spring. "smells like Islam" someone will say, and we'll laugh, knowing that this isn't the sort of thing that should ever be shared in a public, sensitive setting. Like this.] Continuing on. Given the amount of stink that gets raised when Marines go barging in to Mosques after gunmen take refuge in them, it's not surprising that the Mosque on base is off limits. These people, or some of them, really believe in the sanctity of the site and we should be sensitive to that. Seems a bit abstract to me, given that one of my friends filmed a fantasy/sorcery type movie scene in a large mosque back in the US that used to be a Greek Orthodox church of all things. But oh well. I suppose it would be an international incident if word ever got out that people were wantonly sneaking in to this building. Not that we/they/anyone/whoever is. I've never seen anyone go so much as within 10 yards of the thing (that's about the distance between it and the sidewalk). Yet, I figure there'd be hell to pay, right? It'd put Al Asad on the map for sure, ironically and somehow appropriately drawing more mortar and rocket attacks (it's funny how they alter their schedules based on what the media reports about the war effort... it's like they're sitting around watching CNN and they get all worked up and grab some rockets they'd been saving for a special occasion, their daughter's birthday or something, and say "scew it!! We kill American Satans today!!"). Or maybe it's after they lose a Deathmatch on XBOX live that they play over their new satellite dish. Ah whatever. I suppose if someone were to sneak into that building, all ninja-wrapped and stealthy, in the middle of the dark, dusty hours of the night, and take something inconsequential from inside to prove he'd done it, there'd be a whole lot of butt-hurt and powerful people steaming over it. Provided anyone ever checks there to verify the integrity of the building or not. Who knows. But it's tempting, given all the boredom we have to swill in here. Perhaps a "feat" or show of prowess/cunning to impress one's peers. I don't know. It's too bad our culture doesn't do anything like that anymore, I mean make men do impressive things to show they're men. The women might be happier in the long run. As for now, the brown ninja clan is at ease. ... :D
# posted by chevas @ 2:00 AM 